Birthday Quotes, Jokes and Riddles

Enjoy your weekend with a good laugh and dozens of cheers.

• Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest - Father Larry Lorenzoni

• Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty- Robert Frost
  

• Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened. - Cora Harvey Armstrong

• When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.

• When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

• Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

• Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Q.Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.
A.Next time don't eat the candles.

Q.What do you give nine hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday?
A.I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!

Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
A: Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!

Q.Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?
A.I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles.

Q.Were any famous men born on your birthday?
A.No, only little babies.

Q: What is your favourite type of present?
A: Another present!

• Some employees bought their boss a gift for his birthday. Before opening the gift, the boss shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner. Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked, "A bottle of wine?"His employees replied, "No."Again, he touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid. "A bottle of scotch?"His employees replied again, "No." Finally the boss asked, "I give up. What is it?"His workers responded, "A puppy”.
  

• An eminent old man was being interviewed, and was asked if it was correct that he had just celebrated his ninety-ninth birthday. `That's right,' said the old man. `Ninety-nine years old, and I haven't an enemy in the world. They're all dead.'`Well, sir,' said the interviewer, `I hope very much to have the honour of interviewing you on your hundredth birthday.'The old man looked at the young man closely, and said, `I can't see why you shouldn't. You look fit and healthy to me!'

• A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"
  

A birthday is just the 1st day of another 365 days journey around the sun.
So, just enjoy the trip