We watch Mamma Mia at school today, thanks to those whoever brought the DVD!!
And TQ, Cik Furziah, for letting us enjoying and singing off our lungs *not really*
I shared my home-made spaghetti, and yesh, I believe it's delicious? x)
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Back at home, my dad gently told us that my grandfather had passed away earlier this morning.
Looking at my mum for the first time, I realized she had been crying. *my heart went out for her, I mean, when's the last time she saw him? She didn't get to be there when he died. *
I was only half-listening to my dad when he said that the rest of us will go back to Johor tonight, meanwhile he got work to do till Friday and Sue Ki got exam.
I was thinking, too full of thoughts; too full of emotions; too full of memories.
There's nothing I can do. There's not even a proper "Goodbye" I can give.
I was stunned. Was devastated. Was shocked. *why aren't I crying?*
I went back into my room, silent, and sent a message to Him.
"Chao Wei...."
"What happen?" *how did he guessed what happen?*
"My grandfather just pass away this morning"
"....feel sad rite? Dun cry..." *how does he know, that I'll start crying reading that message?*
He called, and we talk for a while, I can feel his sympathy, and for once, I was crying *trying my best to choked back my tears and the lump in my throat*
Ending the call, I realized there's no way I want to make my friends feel sad just because of me. I kept quiet. And decided to let them know through my blog *sorries*
Losing a person *whether you are close to them or not* is never easy.
Especially knowing that you can't see him/her forever.
Knowing that he/she can't see you achieving what you always wanted, unable to be there, unable to celebrate with you, unable to share your happiness.
A conversation formed in my mind...
"hey..I'm sorry about your grandfather.."
"it's okay.."
"are you close with him?"
"no..not really..."
"ohh..so not that bad la..?"
"no, it just makes things worse, because I'll never get the chance to really know him anymore"
Seriously, don't you agree?
There's still memories though, I can still remember the way he picked me up and and spend his time playing with me and my cousins when we're still little kids.
I can still remember how he used to drive his motorcycle, fetching us two by two to his fruit plantation.
I can still remember hanging out there and learning new fruit's names.
I can still recall the times when he always especially prepared durians for me *I used to love durians*
I can still recall those times when he nursed his dogs, taking care of them. *with me standing beside, watching with a warm feeling*
And also, that day when he managed persuaded my mum to let me bring back Spotty *R.I.P*
He know how much that meant to me, because I never hide my love for animals, especially dogs.
I can never thank him enough of that moment, that day, when I finally own a puppy.
Thanks to him, I had made a best friend, the most intelligent puppy ever. *he died last year, was poisoned by some creep, wish I could payback*
Funny *not really*, no one really felt anything when Spotty died. Only me.
That's why till now, any death will always remind me.
I'd never understand why people never treat animals like one of us. *bastards*
I hate people who'd think I'm overacting about Spotty's death. *fcuk off*
I sound mad, don't I? *sigh*
I guess I'm mad at myself the most, full of anger, guilt, sadness.
Here's another conversation that just formed in my mind..
"don't be too sad..I know how you feel.."
"no you don't"
"w-what?"
"you can only know WHAT I feel, not HOW I feel"
Ouch, that's hurtful. But true.
Huh! And to think I just believed in the "Just Stand Up" song recently.
*shakes head* it doesn't matter anymore, right now, the song that suits the mood a lot is
"Bye bye" by Mariah Carey
But..to be honest..I'm glad for him that the battle is over.
There's no more pain for him to go through, no more torture, no more feeling useless.
Lets just say that..
"He's free from the pain forever..."
P.S Won't blog for about a week, or more? Will be back on 19th, next Wednesday.
P.S.S Sorry Hean Tee and Vern Ern, I can't help you...sorry..*sigh*
From: Darkling Lovecraft aka Suezie
Looking at my mum for the first time, I realized she had been crying. *my heart went out for her, I mean, when's the last time she saw him? She didn't get to be there when he died. *
I was only half-listening to my dad when he said that the rest of us will go back to Johor tonight, meanwhile he got work to do till Friday and Sue Ki got exam.
I was thinking, too full of thoughts; too full of emotions; too full of memories.
There's nothing I can do. There's not even a proper "Goodbye" I can give.
I was stunned. Was devastated. Was shocked. *why aren't I crying?*
I went back into my room, silent, and sent a message to Him.
"Chao Wei...."
"What happen?" *how did he guessed what happen?*
"My grandfather just pass away this morning"
"....feel sad rite? Dun cry..." *how does he know, that I'll start crying reading that message?*
He called, and we talk for a while, I can feel his sympathy, and for once, I was crying *trying my best to choked back my tears and the lump in my throat*
Ending the call, I realized there's no way I want to make my friends feel sad just because of me. I kept quiet. And decided to let them know through my blog *sorries*
Losing a person *whether you are close to them or not* is never easy.
Especially knowing that you can't see him/her forever.
Knowing that he/she can't see you achieving what you always wanted, unable to be there, unable to celebrate with you, unable to share your happiness.
A conversation formed in my mind...
"hey..I'm sorry about your grandfather.."
"it's okay.."
"are you close with him?"
"no..not really..."
"ohh..so not that bad la..?"
"no, it just makes things worse, because I'll never get the chance to really know him anymore"
Seriously, don't you agree?
There's still memories though, I can still remember the way he picked me up and and spend his time playing with me and my cousins when we're still little kids.
I can still remember how he used to drive his motorcycle, fetching us two by two to his fruit plantation.
I can still remember hanging out there and learning new fruit's names.
I can still recall the times when he always especially prepared durians for me *I used to love durians*
I can still recall those times when he nursed his dogs, taking care of them. *with me standing beside, watching with a warm feeling*
And also, that day when he managed persuaded my mum to let me bring back Spotty *R.I.P*
He know how much that meant to me, because I never hide my love for animals, especially dogs.
I can never thank him enough of that moment, that day, when I finally own a puppy.
Thanks to him, I had made a best friend, the most intelligent puppy ever. *he died last year, was poisoned by some creep, wish I could payback*
Funny *not really*, no one really felt anything when Spotty died. Only me.
That's why till now, any death will always remind me.
I'd never understand why people never treat animals like one of us. *bastards*
I hate people who'd think I'm overacting about Spotty's death. *fcuk off*
I sound mad, don't I? *sigh*
I guess I'm mad at myself the most, full of anger, guilt, sadness.
Here's another conversation that just formed in my mind..
"don't be too sad..I know how you feel.."
"no you don't"
"w-what?"
"you can only know WHAT I feel, not HOW I feel"
Ouch, that's hurtful. But true.
Huh! And to think I just believed in the "Just Stand Up" song recently.
*shakes head* it doesn't matter anymore, right now, the song that suits the mood a lot is
"Bye bye" by Mariah Carey
But..to be honest..I'm glad for him that the battle is over.
There's no more pain for him to go through, no more torture, no more feeling useless.
Lets just say that..
"He's free from the pain forever..."
P.S Won't blog for about a week, or more? Will be back on 19th, next Wednesday.
P.S.S Sorry Hean Tee and Vern Ern, I can't help you...sorry..*sigh*
From: Darkling Lovecraft aka Suezie
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