Laughing is just so Hard..

Its not what what it seems...
gawd..how true this sentence is..

I can't stop it from happening..
I can't stop tears from escaping..
I can't take it anymore..
I felt so unwanted still at where I always wanna be..
always and forever..

There are so many questions I wanna ask..
There are so much things I want to know..
All of them starts with a Why..

Why...?
Why.....?
WHY??

Now I really know how it feels like being like this..
Now I really understand..
Now I really...know...

Can't get any sleep..
Can't get any energy..
Can't get any appetite..

It's so hard to get this all out
It's so hard to make myself laugh
It's so hard to feel alive anymore..

I'm not very religious..
but God...
please,
just take me away...

Why am I here for....??