I had enough of nagging -.-'
I had ENOUGH of having ups and downs!!
Argh!!
Gawd. I feel like sucha emo sometimes
But when I think about it,
there's nothing much for me to emo about.
Oh wait, there is.
I'm just not gonna tell ya LOL
Anyways,
I made a promise to this dear friend of mine that I'd blog about my erm,
bad memories.
Memories that doesn't make me feel happy.
Memories that doesn't make me smile.
Memories that make me surprised how I lived through that.
Memories that...make me realizes how time flies...
So if you're stubborn, and still wants to kept on reading,
when my post screw up your mind in the end,
that's not my problem =D
[just kidding]
I'm just...
Nevermind, just get yourself ready
Go. Go get a popcorn and just sit down and...read LOL
Form one,
I was one nerd looking girl minus the nerdy attitude
I just look nerdy with my specs and no, I'm not pretty neither cute or whatsoever
In fact, I look -.-'
I can't believe how guys still falls for me at that time
And hence, my first boyfriend - TMG
TMG stands for The Mysterious Guy
I named him that because I didn't wanna let others know about him
and it's hard to talk about him without mentioning his name and so I named him TMG
Long story cut short
I got this major crush on him at first sight while holding his hand in this game
He strikes me as this person who's talkative and fun to be around
I love his laugh. Easy-going. And not bad looking.
Later on we get to know each other through MSN and also being in the same club helps
He got a girlfriend at that time but after they broke up, we end up closer
Bla bla bla
We get together, and I was over the moon.
And found out he's actually someone who have a messed up family problems.
I tried helping him, but he still went around flirting with other girls to either prove something which I don't know.
This happens for a few times,
I was such a fool
I actually allowed that guy to break my heart not only once or twice,
but countless times.
Stupid stupid stupid Sue Yi!!!
Whenever I noticed he's been acting cool towards me,
I'd have to gather up my courage and to asked him
its always, always, effing always like that.
I'm sick of that so much.
Yet I couldn't get over him at that time -.-'
I told you I was a fool!!!
For the record, we on and off like...4-5 times in three years.
Oh gawd..
Moving on, by the time I was form 3,
I met this guy QT who was the one who made me forget about TMG
LOL much
Don't worry,
this time, my taste gets better ;)
I don't think it's love at first sight this time,
its more like erm, the more I know him the more I like him kind?
And yeahh, my crush went on for a while till he finally notices me and felt the same way too.
I'm lucky ain't I? Hmm.
And so yeahh =)
That was my longest relationship ever.
It last about 7+ months.
I did the break up, even though I still *cough* having feelings for him at that time.
The reason I broke up with him its because then I realized,
He might be a Perfect Guy [he seriously is]
but he's not the Perfect Guy for me.
I'm not sure whether you understand that or not LOL
but that's not the whole point.
He reminded me that I broke up with him on 14/2/2008 this year -.-'
[I had a very, very, extremely hard time breaking up with guys]
Before I go on, I need to introduce this bunch of girl who were my...best friend ever.
There's the six of us, and we were so close and all since Form1 [2006]
But things...just changed ya know?
I was drifting away lil by lil,
and when I decided to quit the group, [2009]
they were mad. Very very mad.
They spam my wall. And it's either ignoring my presence or glaring at me.
I was miserable at that time, and really really hurt.
I thought they would be more mature about this.
I even go as far to punch the door behind my school and hurt my right hand -.-'
[yes, immature me too]
I was very upset and my life suddenly went upside down.
I label myself as "Unwanted" and I seriously had no one else that I'm close to other than my sister. [and my dogs and hamsters]
We're okay with each other now though.
They had apologize =)
Even another guy friend of mine,
who was one of my closest friend since form 1.
Back stabbed me =)
He did something that I never thought anyone would be capable of doing it.
And it leaves a scar. LOL
First them girls, now him.
Bleh. That's the most downside part I had ever went through.
You know something?
This shows that even the person who trust the most, could still hurt you.
And they can hurt you easily and harder as you trust them.
[but now, we're back on okay terms =D]
That's when. He came in.
Yes, another guy LOL
Sorry, but I just gotta tell the truth.
So this guy. He's erm...egoistic much.
Charming. Lotsa girls like him very much.
Flirty. LOL. Very good-looking.
[and no, this time he's not from my school]
He chased me, I reject.
He asked again, I said huh?
LOL I'm not good at rejecting.
Anyways,
he still doesn't give up.
He was there for me when the whole drama about my five ex-girlfriends decided that four years of true friendship meant nothing to them.
He was there for me when that guy friend of mine erm..hurt me.
That might sound simple but its...nice ya know?
It's comforting knowing that someone was there for you the whole time
and someone who can accept who you are always.
and hence, I fall for him unconsciously.
I've got no words to describe how does it feels like when I'm with him
He's the playboy kind, but his closest friend had never seen him treating a girl like this before,
and I had never felt so deep for someone either.
I sincerely, doubt that was just any puppy love.
I knew it was something deep.
And we trusted each other so much.
Bleh. I should really stop.
Cause in the end,
he left with no explanations. [2009]
I was really confused and messed up once more.
For he was all I had =)
Shortly after that, I met Joyce [who only transfer to my school when I was form 4]
and also gotten close with Atiqah [known as Ash]
Up till now, I couldn't stop asking why?
Why did he leave?
Why did he stop?
There's no doubt he felt the same way, what changes his mind?
I'm no fool at that time,
I know he's got something for me. [my sister thinks so too]
But till now I couldn't figure out why.
And I couldn't get over him
till a few weeks ago.
It still hurts alot =)
But I'm surviving.
And you know why's that?
That's because I've still got my friends.
Joyce, Ash, and Ki.
Not to mention my dogs [Diamond&Blitz] and hamster [Day]
and family =)
All these taught me to be smarter and to be mentally stronger.
I had enough of relationships.
I had enough of getting disappointed all over again.
Which leads to my next question,
when will I meet my soul mate??
And yes, as lame as it sounds,
I really do believe in soul mates.
There's nothing you can do to change my mind about that theory ;)
I have told what I feel like saying.
I'm not giving anymore details out unless you're lucky when you tried asking more
I'm also done with blogging for today.
Hugs.
I know it doesn't seem important to you,
but I'd appreciate it if you'd at least try to understand what I had been going through.
P.S Emo Emo Emo Emo Emo-Zone!! Is over!! =D
P.P.S I hate it when a guy asked me, and I had no idea what to answer. LOL
From: Darkling Lovecraft aka Suezie
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