The Abbreviation Sensation Sweeping the Nation

I guess it started innocently enough.

When your "Yay Jesus" crowds out the rest of the text, you cut a few corners on the "birthday" to cram it all in. Ok, fine. I get it.

The problem started when some wreckerator somewhere looked at that and thought, "Hey, that saves me four whole letters! I should write it that way ALL the time!"

And so...[dramatically steepling fingers]...it began.

First a dash was added, to make it seem more respectable:

It's an unwritten rule in baking that you can butcher a name as much as you like, so long as it's followed by a question mark.


Then they ditched the 'B':


Next, the "day":

The first 28 were delicious.


And finally, inevitably, we arrived at...this.

One can only hope they were charging by the letter.

Can it get any worse, you ask?

Oh, please. You know better than to ask that by now, don't you? [smirk]

It's like a code. Am I wishing you a happy birthday? Maybe, maybe not. I might be wishing you a Herniated Bowels day. Because, yeah, I do that sometimes.


And yet, shockingly, we still haven't gotten to the worst part of this whole abbreviation craze.


Think with me for a moment: are there any holidays out there that might not do well in an abbreviated form? Any at all? C'mon. Think about it.

Give up?

Oh, good. I'm positively itching to show you this last photo.

It's a Valentine's Day cake. Scout's honor.

Thanks, Erin C., Aimee P., Michelle W., Angela C., Darnell, Elizabeth, & Chris. Y'all are hunk a' hunks of burnin' love in my book.