Bottled Up Much

I had been bottled up always since that incident
There's no one else I could rely on except You
I need to cry to get all these out
but somehow, I.Can't.Cry.At.All

I lost so much
Its been a burden since weeks ago
Each time I thought of it, I would look into the mirror
staring at myself expressionless
I'm surprise,
to see there's no tears streaming down my cheeks
to see that I'm still able to fake a smile so easily
to see that I'm still standing there without a pillow
to see that I'm still alive and well

I just read someone's blog recently
I envy her so much =)
she had it all, there's no doubt about it
before I go on, I'm pretty sure there are readers who are insulting every word I'm saying here
and there are readers that are waiting chances to mock my thoughts
I lost so much, so so freaking much
and you know something?
I'm so tired so thinking positive always, so tired of saying
"Everything will be okay in the end"

SCREW IT!! NOTHING WILL BE OKAY!!

Emo-zone returns
ta-dahhhh~

and yes
nothing will be okay ever...