What Are You Getting Yourself for Valentine's Day?

On February 14th, millions of women will sit at home alone, commiserating over the boyfriends or husbands we don't have. We will damn our prettier, skinnier, perkier friends who have boyfriends. We will commit to man-catching diets and convince ourselves we need to smile more, while lying on the couch in ill-fitted flannel pajamas tossing back bon bons and soda. We will blink back tears as other women get diamond rings and surprise proposals on Tyra's Valentine's Day Special. We will beg God for an answer as to why we have no one to get us a box of chocolates, a sappy card, or a dozen roses on Valentine's Day.

All the while, the rest of the world buzzes along, while we sit in self-imposed misery, waiting for love and happiness to knock on the door. Well, there is no need to sit at home thinking about what you don't have, wasting time and energy dreaming about what you want. Go out and get it. Whether you want a giant teddy bear, a meal at your favorite restaurant, or some sexy new pajamas, you do not have to wait around for someone else to give it to you. Give it to yourself.

You may be thinking - "But it's not the same!" And you're right; it's not the same. It's even better. Once you realize you can do these things for yourself, you free yourself from dependence on others for your happiness.

This is no less important when you are in a relationship. Let's face it, men are not mind readers (as Dr. Phil has made very clear), and we all know it takes the fun out of it when you have to tell him exactly what you want. More often than not, even the best of boyfriends can only be expected to provide the holy Valentine's Day trinity: flowers, candy, and dinner. But what if you wanted a massage at a spa? Are you going to tell him and get mad that you had to tell him? Are you going to drop hints and get mad when he doesn't get them? Don't do either. Just call the spa and make an appointment for yourself. Accept whatever he comes up with on his own with a smile, because you have already secured your own happiness - this is just icing on the cake.

This is not limited to Valentine's Day. So often, we are last on our own priority lists. We fantasize about our Prince Charming coming along and sweeping us away, doing all sorts of nice things for us. That may or may not happen, but it is important to take your happiness in your own hands every day. That may be taking a long hot bubble bath with scented candles, or having a glass of wine while listening to your favorite CD. You'd be surprised how these small doses of self-gratification will improve your overall happiness.

I know what you're saying. "I don't have the time", "I don't have the money", "I have more important things to worry about". These are all self-defeating thoughts that prevent us from taking control of our own happiness. We are taught that we should be selfless, putting the needs of others before our own. However, after long periods of doing this we have nothing left to give. On the other hand, when we fill ourselves up with happiness by fulfilling our own wishes, we exude that and make others happy with our very presence. All those things you wish you had the time, money, or energy to do? Don't wish. Do them. This Valentine's Day, get yourself an extra large dose of self-love.

Treat yourself to a Valentine's Day gift for under $25. Kaya Casper is the Publisher of Naturally You! Magazine - join our free online community at http://www.NaturallyYouMagazine.com/ecommunity