A Cinderella Story

With all the royal wedding coverage out there, a lot of us girls have been spending this week imagining our own Princess Diaries moment.

Now, I don't know about you guys, but mine goes a little something... like this...

[harpsichord dream sequence music plays]

First, there's a whirlwind romance with the dashing stranger who looks like a cross between Nathan Fillion and Kiefer Sutherland during his Three Musketeers days.

(Awww yeeeeah.)

Next, we sink straight into the Fire Swamp.

No, no, just kidding.

Next we play BioShock together until 2AM.

Later, after dressing up as Venkman and Staypuft for Halloween (I'm Venkman, of course), and confessing our undying love for one another, there's a painfully romantic proposal:

Performed in an inflatable kiddie pool.

"Jen," my dashing prince would say, "Will you be my own Princess Peach?"

To which I would respond, "Are you kidding? Do Vulcans need the Pon Farr?
"(But we are going to Disney for the honeymoon, right?)"

And, BAM! I'm a princess! Next thing you know, I'm living in a castle...

"And over here is your TARDIS closet. As you can see, it is much, MUCH bigger on the inside."

...and wearing pretty princess crowns...

(Modeled after crabby Space Invaders, apparently.)

...and pretty princess dresses...

("Talk about your trunk space, check this action out!")

...and riding my Princess Vespa around...

(Ok, technically this would be a Princess Harley.)

...and...and...wait. You know what? Other than the castle and crown stuff, I've already got my fairy tale ending, complete with BioShock playing, Princess Bride quoting, brownie baking prince. (Love you, Sweetie.)

So I guess I'll just end here by wishing all of you:

I like the short and fluffy ones, myself.

Thanks to today's dream team Debbie B., Anony M., Lisa V., Lisa P., Julia B., Vanessa C., & Stephanie S., who, for the record, never even knew fairies *had* tails.

A Royal Affair

Like all of you, I am simply in a TIZZY waiting to see the royal wedding tomorrow. Or, more accurately, the royal wedding cake.

I mean, think about it: this is the cake that must end all cakes. It has to outshine, outdo, and outhouse every dream of every girl who has ever dreamed of being a princess! [sigh]

Plus, just imagine the unbelievable stress the poor bakers must be under at this very moment. The agony! The suspense! The weighty sense of impending doom, should their one shot at world-wide glory, fame, and adoration fail! BWAHAHAHAAAA!

Er...I mean...

Wishing you the best of luck, guys!

So, what do you think it'll be? Something colorful?

Something modern?

(And...drippy?)

Of course, whatever it is, you know it'll have to be an upstanding specimen...

...with just the right emphasis on the fact that they live in a castle, and you don't:

Hey, maybe it'll be inspired by Kate's wedding dress!

Or maybe it'll just show the couple's deep love and affection for one another:

("Pardon me, your lordship, but would you care for a slice of chocolate thigh?"

"Ruddy good, yes! Tally ho! What what!*")

Well, whatever the outcome tomorrow, I'm sure so long as the bakers don't give the happy couple the cold shoulder, they'll be fine.

O.0

Must. Stop. Staring at. Shoulder hock.

Many thanks to wreckporters Christin S., Gary & Brittany J., Melissa B., Kelli B., Amy E., Anna K., and Lou for today's joint efforts.


*Yes, I know all British people do not sound like this. But the really cool ones do.


Note from john: For some reason, the comment section is acting all wonky today so if you don't have a Google account, you can't leave a comment. With any luck, the Google Overlords will fix the problem soon. Wreck On!

Easter EGGcellence

Ok, bakers, huddle up!

Now, listen: Easter is coming. That means a lot of long hours, hard work, and painstaking effort on your part to ensure we make some of the most beautif...BWAHAHAHA!!

AHAHAHAHAA!!

[wiping eyes] Sorry, sorry! I really thought I'd get through that with a straight face this year. Heehee!

Right: start your airbrushes! I'll see you back here in five.

Bee-YOO-tiful.

Nice aim on those jelly beans, Jim!

And good call on the "Peep Peep." That'll clue 'em in it's not a swan or a banana or something.

Not bad, but I can still see a little icing. Can we get a little more plastic in here?


And speaking of plastic, here's a great recycling tip:

St. Patrick would be proud.


And remember, bakers: the more plastic, the less time, skill, and hassle!

I made this one in 15 seconds.

With my feet.

(Aaaand that'll be $14.99, please. Cha-ching!)


And lastly, I don't actually know what this is...

...but it looks like a really efficient use of time. So let's make a few dozen more.

Thanks to Stephanie J., Angela M., Alexandra M., Shay K., Tony D., Diana Y., & Stephanie R., who think that's supposed to be a bunny rabbit.

[staring in stunned silence]

Well, one thing's for sure: You're not getting a Peep out of me.

Window Pain

Bakers, in case it's been a while, this is your friendly reminder to go ahead and spruce up those window display cakes. After all, without them the customers might have to rely solely on your signage to evaluate your baking skills:

And nobody wants that.

("I'll take a Sahara and two small Mojaves, please.")

Now, your display cakes say a lot about your bakery. Ideally, you want these things to be positive, like "Look! Our cakes don't show the dirt at ALL!"

Or, "Yes, we CAN cut out small pieces of paper!"

Or even just "Divorce!" written in German:

Your displays also showcase the things that are most important to your bakery.

Like spelling:

And the fact that you never make the same mistake more than twice:

And finally, remember: when it comes to drawing in potential customers, you can never go wrong with a really good wizard cake:

Guaranteed to work like magic.

Thanks to Elizabeth R., Mary I., Erin Z., Kate, Catherine C., & C.M., who think that last window might have a few kinks to work out.

Tonight at the Lucky Stardust Lounge

"You... are... so beautiful..."

"...to me."

"Thank you. Thank you very much."

[Leaning on piano]

"You... are... soooo beautiful..."

"...to meeee."

"The Goldmans, everyone! Fifty years today! Aren't they adorable?

"Can't you SEEE-EEE-EE?!?"

[sliding to front of stage on knees]

"You're... ev'ry-thing I HOPED for!"

[grimacing in pain]

"You're EVERYTHING I neeeeeeeeee..."

"...eeEEED!"

[winking at waitress]

"You... are... so beautiful..."

"Toooo... meeeeEEEEE."

Thank you, Nia C., Krystal C., Karen R., Julie R., Alison V., and Joshua P. Thank you so much. No, really. Thank you. Really. You're too much. Thank you. Tip your waitress!

MEGAWIZARDDRAGONANIMEBABECON!

Are you ready, Muskogee County? 'Cuz this weekend...IS...

MEGAWIZARDDRAGONANIMEBABECON!
presented by Bass Pro Shops and Fashion Bug

That's right, freaks n' geeks, the MWDABC has it all!

- Bazillions of "A" list celebrities, like that guy that guest starred on Buffy that time! (You know, the one with the hair? Yeah, that one!!)


- Amazing costumes!

(By Brian Fishman who has a fantastic sense of humor)

Note: please wear amazing costumes.

Also, body paint is allowed, and even encouraged...

...on females.

- The largest Vendor Room this side of Gallifrey, where you'll find every comic book, funny hat, or authentic-movie-replica sword you've ever dreamed of!

NOTE: actual merchandise may differ from promotional imagery.

Like so.

- HUGE role-playing tournament area!

WOW, gamers, this room is to "die" for!

- Vow renewals!


NOTE: Additional fee applies. Cake not included. Choice of action figure wedding toppers include Watchmen (shown above) and Spock n' Leia:

"Love is illogical."

"I know."

- Back by popular demand, the "Picard Maneuver" photo opportunity!

NOTE: Additional fee applies. Reasonable Picard facsimile may be substituted. All rights reserved. MWDABC will not be held responsible for any communicable diseases contracted while participating in the Picard maneuver photo opportunity.

- And, fellas, don't forget all the bodacious booth babes just waiting to have their pictures taken with you!

"For the last time, no, we DON'T know when Slave Leia is coming back. Now, do you want a picture or not?"

Plus, don't miss our featured events:

SMACKDOWN!!

with

Lou Ferrigno!

NOTE: Mr. Ferrigno will not be appearing in costume. Nor will he be smacking anything.

And Val Kilmer!

NOTE: Mr. Kilmer actually will be appearing in his original Batman costume.
We're not sure why.

- And finally, be sure to check out our exclusive appearance by the one and only William Shatner! Who may or may not be performing his iconic "Rocket Man!" (Assuming we can find enough cigarettes.)

He's a ROCK. IT. MAN.

The MEGAWIZARDDRAGONANIMEBABECON:

Make It So.

Thanks to Kimberly C., Theresa, Jaclyn C., Talia B., River W., Barb I., Kelli G., Teresa M., Lucy V., Missy B., & Clau...

And a happy belated briday to the Shat.

Oh, and now that I've got you all pumped for a con, I should note that there really *is* a scifi convention in Orlando this weekend, and John and I are totally going. See you there, fellow Florida geeks!

Coming Up Roses

Like love and marriage - or a horse and carriage - icing roses and cakes just go together.

Perhaps I should rephrase that.

What I mean is the two are a really natural combination.

Am I having a seizure? I feel like I'm having a seizure.

A combination of grace, beauty...

...and, of course, cat poop:

And, since roses are one of the first things a baker learns to make - not to mention what they make the most often - you can always trust an icing rose to be the finest example of what a baker can do.

We're doomed.


No, no, I'm sorry; that came out wrong. What I mean is: uh, let's see how they do on rosebuds!

Ok. Yeah. Doomed.

Thanks to Angela G., Elizabeth W., Freidel I., Tiffanie, Christina C., & Ali S., who were hoping to see some icing sleds on that last cake, because they're intellectual like that.