And that's they called me. A failure.

Gladly.
Where's the cliff?
Or knife?

I'm just kidding =)
I wasn't too emo about my results.
To be honest, its the pressure that is bothering me.
The sad sad sympathetically eyes that bore into mine.
My legs twitched, wanting to run.
Away from this place and into the woods.

Hey, I love nature okay.

That explains it
why I was so sarcastic lately.

People who barely know me asks,
so how? 5As? 6As? 7As? 8As?
ARGH.
I hate disappointing people.
Yet,
I'm truly okay with my results.
So I don't see why shouldn't everybody else be happy for me too.

I'm such a sensitive person.
And my mum is the smartest person ever,
who know which buttons to push and turn me into a waterworks.

Don't get it wrong.
I'm just saying she knows me well enough even though she's not my age and stuff.
She doesn't reads my blog or diaries.
Yet she know how much I bottled up about just everything.






And I swear,
when I cried, my heart hurts so much.

And I love cold weathers =D
Super scared when driving though haha

I'm such a downer.
Sikit-sikit [little little] then not happy.
Lately lah.

I told my mum how some of my friends got it all figured out.
They want medical. They got it.
They want engineering. Sure no problem.
They prefer Form Six. Pick the right school la.
They got money.
They won't get into any financial problems if they realize they want another course instead.
Lucky Lucky Lucky.

"I would jump in front of a train for ya"
LOL
[slaps self]

My mum sooth me saying,
This is a part of growing up Sue Yi,
now you know what it is like to make life-decisions,
hard decisions.
Don't listen to what others said about the disadvantages about the choice you make.
If your heart says yes,
then go for it.
If you're truly interested in it,
then go ahead, reach for it.
There's no point in making yourself learning about something else that you're not interested in.
You wouldn't do well in it.


Hard decisions eh.
Darn right you are mum.

I'm kidding.
I'm not falling into the darkness right now.
Who will be around to blog this blog?
;P

Seeing my "ya right" face expression,
my mum continues,
As for those friends of yours.
Yes lucky them.
They know what they want, and they can get it.
But it will be tougher on them in their future.
There will be more "hard" decisions,
As for you,
you're going through it now,
so it'll be easy for you.

And that made me feel better.
Even if its a little.

Its true I know what I want
But with different people giving me different kind of pressures,
the expectations.
I wish it could all just go away.

Gawd I'm so weak.
Talk about pathetic.
I gotta be strong [LOL]
and most importantly,
I'm pretty sure I'm NOT alone in this situation =)




P.S NS? or not =)

P.P.S I gotta start cleaning my desk. Its piling up with memorable stuff. I think.


XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft