May Visiting Teaching Gift

We've taken a few of our favorite quotes from April's General Conference, paired it with a gourmet Kara Milk Chocolate bar - and wrapped it all up with an exquisite piece of scrapbook paper.  Then we've added a flower, one of grandma's old chunky buttons, and a delightful dotted ribbon!  One of our favorites so far... Enjoy!

Buy them online HERE or at our store in Lehi!  

A great deal for only $3.50 each!  

Don't forget to become a follower... as soon as we reach 200 we will make it worth your while with a great deal!

Literally Puzzling

Each of the photographs below represent a cake order gone wrong. Can you find the errors? The first puzzle gives you a hint. (Answers below.)

A) [hint] Sara is also a mom.

Well, I guess it *does* beat "Sara, SLASH Mom."

B)

As Number 1 pointed out to me, at least they didn't write "War Eagle" in auburn icing. Although in my mind, that's just wrecking it further. If you're going to go literal, go literal. Am I right?

C)

Something tells me this cake has something to do with CPEN.
CPEN CPEN CPEN CPEN.
Huh. Yeah, I don't know where I'm getting that.

Say something nice about Wade M., Nancy S., & Jessica K. to thank them for the pics.

Answer Key:
A) Wreckerator is a pacifist
B) Wreckerator hates drawing
C) CPEN CPEN CPEN

Update from John: So, apparently, the Auburn Tigers greet each other by yelling "War Eagle." Yeah. But we Trekkers are the weird ones. Anyhoo, so I suppose if you want to get all technical and correct about it, that cake is not a Wreck. But, it's too late to take it down. And we're tired. And it's Friday. So, we're all moving on. Right? [meaningful look at commenters] Right. We're moving on.

Custom-built sundials, sculptures and water features

Blagrave’s Armillary Sphere was created by sculptor David Harber for St John’s College, Oxford, England. Blagrave was the original designer of the sundial studied at the college during the 16th century.
Harber has been creating custom-built sundials, sculptures and water features for a range of individuals and business clients since 1992. Some of his private clients include Judi Dench, Jeremy Irons and the late George Harrison. Photos © Bernard Mattimore

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See videos of his works here.

Furniture and bird-themed accents

The harvest metal antique table is from the new Signature Style collection catalog from Two's Company. It's 60 inches long, made of fir, and is shipped knocked-down.

The company has a variety of accents in bird themes. This hand-carved owl is made of mango wood and stands 9 inches tall. Other designs are also available. The resin sparrows are sold in a set of three. Bird-themed wall decor is also offered.

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Retailers: Contact the company for prices and minimums.

Shoppers: Ask your favorite independent retailer to order this item for you.

A "Dreme" Come True

"Welcome back to round one of the National Wreck Bowl, folks. Our reigning champion, Pat Wüfflehausen, has filled his pastry bags and is ready to attempt a new world record.

"Greg, this is obviously a huge challenge for Wüffelshausen. What do you think he's feeling right now?

"Well, he ate the same lunch we did, Pete, so probably nauseous and constipated."

"Hey, I did warn you about those samosas, buddy. Aaaand here we go! Our champ is now in position. Looks like he's assessing the area...he's preparing to pipe...and...

"A-HA! Would you look at that? Right out of the gate, he has destroyed the first word!"

"Tell me, Greg, how many points would you say that misspelling is worth?"

"Oh, I have no idea."

"But if you had to take a shot in the dark?"

"Well, I'd probably spill it."

"No, no, I mean...Uh, tell you what, let's just move on to round two."

"YES!! Wüfflehausen just manages to knock out the second word! That was quite a close call, turning the 'I' into an 'E', don't you think, Greg?"

"Only when absolutely necessary, Pete."

"Haha, sounds good. Well, folks, this is it: the final round. And, uh-oh! Look what just got plunked down on the playing field!

"Greg, it's going to be pretty tough for Wüfflehausen to misspell "achieve" with that star stamp right next to him. Do you think he can pull it off?

"Well, sure! It's just a tiny plastic pick - probably doesn't weigh a thing."

"No, no, sorry, that was my fault there, Greg. I mean, do you think he can do it?"

"Do what?"

"Right, let's get back to the action! The crowd is hushed with anticipation, and you can almost feel the tension in the air, can't you, Greg?"

"Abso-lutely not!"

"And here we go...and, oh! Oh! It looks like he could...go...all..the...way!

"YES!! Do you believe in miracles?!?"


"Well, there was that time my mother-in-law fell down the stairs..."

"And that's a new World Record! To those of you at home, thanks for tuning in, and good night!"

Annie, I think I'd call this the "Hale Mary" of Wreckerating.

- Related Wreckage: The Teacher Tearjerker

A Shout Out to all of our Fans:

We want to feel the LOVE... 

and reach a whoppin' 200 followers on our blog

and as soon as we reach 200, we will give the LOVE BACK - 

with a 20% off one entire purchase offer!

And while we're at it, log onto Facebook and become a fan...

once we reach 100, we will send out another offer!  

So hurry up - what are you waiting for?  Everyone likes a deal, right?

Karim Rashid's new ceramic tile line

Porcelanatto, a subsidiary of Spanish ceramic tile maker TAU Group, introduces a line of accent tiles from international designer Karim Rashid. The line, consisting of four series, is called NO-Stalgia. The company launched the products at the Cevisama trade show in Valencia in February (where I shot the photos, above). Its American debut is today at the Coverings trade show in Orlando.
Tiles measure 24 inches by 24 inches. Each of the four series features four colors. The collections are Sensory (Gray, Nude, Pink, Blue), Poetic (Blue, Aura, Pink, Midnight), Emotion (Fire Orange, Gray, Lime, Carbon) and Desire (Violet, Jet, Gray, Lime).

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Retailers: Contact the manufacturer for prices and minimums.

Shoppers: Ask your favorite independent retailer to order this item for you.

The Cat's Meow

{cue sexy saxophone music}

"Oh my... Hello, beautiful lady. I didn't see you come in. Welcome to The Kitty Den, where all of your wildest fantasies can come true. I was just about to slip out of this stiff collar and enjoy a fresh bottle of wine by the fire. Won't you... join me?"

"This wood is big enough for two."

"Or purrrhaps you'd prefer to snuggle with someone a bit more... soft?"

"His claws have been trimmed and he was flea-combed just for you, baby."

"But maybe you're the kind of girl who likes things...dirty."

"Our alley cats are ready for a roll in the hay (or chocolate shavings, if you so desire)."

"That's right, sugar. Here at The Den, our fancy felines fire all of your foxy fantasies."

"Oh, don't mind Gary. He's just our I.T. guy."

Thanks to Violet, Ginger, Kat (how appropriate), and Mary for these handsome hunky hairballs. Mrrow...

- Related Wreckage: Stop the Insanity!

Flotsam Plops

The concept is simple: take an otherwise passable cake, and then stick a completely unrelated piece (or pieces) of plastic flotsam on it. Voila! Flotsam plop.

Oh, and when I say "completely unrelated," I mean "completely unrelated."

And lo, unto us a carrot cake is borne.
And high, we suspecteth the Wreckerator was. Eth.

Look, this carrot cake was doing just fine without divine accompaniment - so why the plastic angel pick? Did the Wreckerator think that was actually helping, or was s/he meeting some flotsam distribution quota?

Care to pick a pack of plops?

The migrating guitar herd strikes again.

Here's how you pander to fanboys and fangirls everywhere:

No, no, it's not a blue dog - it's a BAT dog. Sha-pow!

Plus, that upside-down bat logo tells us he sticks to the ceiling!

Bringing "downward facing dog" to new heights.

Perhaps you don't think these examples have been ridiculous enough, though. Nooo problem. What would you say to Dora the Explorer's head stuck in another doll cake's lap?

Go ahead. Try and imagine that's just the world's largest, creepiest belt buckle.

Personally, I'd say "Hola, Dora! S-O-C-K-S!" Because that's all the Spanish I know. I never learned what it means, though, so here's hoping it's not something dirty. (Although, frankly, that might be appropriate here.)

I have some thoughts about the snowman in the gal's lap behind Dora, too, but for all our sakes I'll leave that to you guys in the comments.

So, just how bad is the flotsam plop epidemic getting?

This bad:

Because even cake sold by-the-slice needs accessorizing.
And Superman beats everybody at bowling.

Katrina S., Lisa K., Dawn, Frzn D., & Jane D., "flotsam plops" is officially my new favorite phrase. Flotsamplopsflotsamplopsflotsamplops. Heehee!

- Related Wreckage: Totally Cheating

Furniture, gifts made of recycled materials

At the High Point market, Vdalyn Papercrafts debuted home furnishings, accessories, tableware, jewelry, scarves and handbags made from eco-friendly recycled materials.
The company, which makes the goods in High Point,N.C., states that every “whimsical item captures reclaimed paper, fiber or wood in original designs, each truly a one-of-a-kind exclusive.”

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Retailers: Contact the manufacturer for prices and minimums.

Shoppers: Ask your favorite independent retailer to order this item for you.

Dear Guest,

Most of you may not realize that we have a whole panel of creative experts that are ready and willing to help you when your in a creative crunch.  One of our wonderful guests called us up and needed help with a favor for a party that she was throwing.  However, it wasn't just any ordinary party... it was a PMS Party!  She didn't know what to do for a favor, but she knew how much she wanted to spend for each one.  So she gave us her budget, her color scheme, and her time frame, and we came up with something fun and unique just for her party!  It turned out so great that we wanted to share it with the rest of our loyal readers, so here it is:

Contents in the Official PMS Survival Kit:

Paperclip:

To hold it all together

Pills:

For those achy times

Hot Compress:

For even more of those achy times

Band-Aid:

For when feelings get hurt

(Disclaimer: Does NOT need to be used for your feelings)

Tissue:

Cause it's okay to cry and not know why...

Tampon:

Self-Explanatory

Rubber Band:

To help you stretch to your limits so you can get through the day

Chocolate Kiss:

Cause you'll need both

Isn't it just darling? So, hopefully the knowledge that you can contact us Monday through Friday from 10am-4pm for your creative needs will help you out next time you are in a creative crunch.  We can't wait to hear from you and see how we can help!

Love, The Creative Panel at Pioneer Party

Tarjeta Scrapbook

Esta es una tarjeta hecha con la tecnica del Skrapbook, fabricada con papel fabriano, papel vejetal y papel bond.

Caja Origami

Este es un diseño de la maestra del Origami Tomoko Fuse.
Fabricada en papel fabriano con la tecnica del papel humedecido.

Caja Rosa 2

Esta es una variación de la caja Rosa de un post anterior. Hecha en papel fabriano humedecido.

Caja Origami

Esta es una Caja hecha con la tecnica del Origami, en papel fabriano humedecido.

Elegant table lamp

At the High Point market, Selva introduced its Philipp Selva Home Lighting collection of portable lamps and fixtures. Selva Co., founded in 1968, also carries bedroom, dining, occasional and accent upholstery furniture. Based near Verona, Italy, the company has a distribution center in High Point, N.C.

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Retailers: Contact the manufacturer for prices and minimums.
Shoppers: Ask your favorite independent retailer or designer to order this item for you.

When Cake Becomes a Crime

Most wrecks are funny. Some are tragic. A few even make us cringe.

But then there's another kind of wreck: A wreck so heinous, so warped, so jaw-droppingly wrong, that it is a crime against humanity itself. These wrecks' very existence should be a punishable offense.

You know, stuff like this:

My apologies to those of you with weaker constitutions; I know how hard this is to look at.

What's that? You don't think butchering the Enterprise in this manner is a crime worthy of judicial condemnation? Really?


Man, it's like I don't even know you anymore.


Well, fine, then. I'm sure you'll at least agree that this next one deserves the old heave-ho:

There she blows! (Chunks, that is.)

"That glistening pile is quite retch-ed, wouldn't you say, Ralph?"

"Ug, thanks for bringing that up, Chuck."

I'm also starting to think that black icing should be a controlled substance:

You know, have it locked up in the back somewhere, with a designated icing distributor on-site.

[twirling police baton] "So you want some icing, eh? And what will you be using it for?
A black smeary pit to stick plastic butterflies in?
Yeah, forget it, bub. Move along."

Admit it: That would be awesome.

Another common cake crime is the use of edible photo paper. Sure, a few cake artists can wield this WMD without causing wide-spread horror and gnashing of teeth, but most bakers use it to further the cause of chaos and evil.

And by "chaos and evil," I of course mean former Baywatch babes:

Busted!

I'm not sure which is scarier: the icing "hair," the obvious disregard for neck transitions, or the fact that these are actually the correct proportions for Pamela Anderson's body. [shudder]

Becky D., Rebecca I., Frances & Chris O., and Amanda I., if Brownie Husband ever becomes a reality, then I guess this won't seem so bad, huh?

- Related Wreckage: Guess Who!

Sunday Special: Cleaning out my camera

At the Housewares Show in Chicago in March.

Sunday Sweets: Gettin' Crafty

I looove crafts. I'll try just about any of them at least once before getting frustrated and giving it up. Open-minded but impatient: that's me!

Well, today's Sweets all have elements that look like needlework, or knitting, or papercraft, etc - but they're all completely edible. Very cool. Promise.

Here we go!


I've done cross stitch since I was 12, but the few times I tried actual needlework/embroidery it turned out...well...let's just say not nearly as pretty as this:

(Submitted by Libby G. & made by Dragonsanddoffodils)

So now I know: Next time, try it with icing.

Oh, and speaking of cross stitch, check THIS out:

(Submitted by Jen. Baker unknown)

I was just reading a tutorial on this in a recent issue of ICES. There are molds for the cross stitch cloth, and then you pipe the tiny stitches using royal icing. Even this close, it looks just like the real thing! Plus, you can use any cross stitch pattern. Very cool.

I'm not sure which craft this next one would be, exactly, but I love how it looks like a heavy fabric wrapped loosely around the cake:

(Sub'd by Jennie S. & made by The Cakemaker)

That's actually rolled white chocolate. Great use of texture.

For you quilters out there:

(Sub'd by Bernise C., made by Heather C. & her friend Carol)

Patchwork quilting, that is. It looks so soft, like the whole cake is really a huggable plush!

How about some crochet?

Pretty, right? Ah, but wait until you see a close up of that christening gown:

(Made Cake Central member sweetpea8)

That is ALL ICING, y'all. Hand-piped to mimic the crocheting of the real christening gown. For realz. Wowza.


Ever try quilling? I did (once), and the results can be so pretty; delicate and intricate. You basically takes tiny strips of paper and wind and twist them into shapes. One of the best quilling artists I've ever seen is Yulia Brodskaya - just look how gorgeous:


So now that you know what it is, can you spot the quilling on this cake?

(Sub'd by Heidi M. & made by the Vanilla Pastry Studio)

Even some of the flowers look like curled paper - and the others are like ribbon and fabric. So, so pretty.


Sweet Assignment: Next week I'll be featuring Fashion Sweets: gorgeous dresses, fabrics, accessories, or anything couture-inspired. Have one to nominate? Then send it to me at Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com!

- Similar Sweets: That Takes the Cake, Pt 1